WhatI wanna be when i grow up: An Essay
When I was little, I remember ppl used to ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. And I never had an answer for them.
I mean, I never really thought about it back then. It didn't seem so very important.
So, fast forward many years. I still have absolutely no idea what I wan to do.
To be quite honest, I know what I don't wanna be: I would hate to get old and become normal. I would hate to really change who I am and fit into the machine of society. I would rather die a horrible death at a young age than grow old and normal.
Who am I? Who do I see myself as? Well, to be quite honest, I see myself as a freak, a social outcast. One who just doesn't fit in well with others.
It's who I have always been, and its who I am. I just don't fit into the system, nor do I particularly want to. I would just like to do what I can, not fitting into normal society but rather sticking out as different.
It's just who I am to be reactionary in my actions and personality.
So, hmm, what can I say? i guess i actually do have an answer for the question above...
I would like to be, above all else, a Jesus Freak. A person who has such love and committment to Jesus that they cannot help but stick out in their society. One who is a disciple of Jesus to such a level that ppl are forced to react. One not ashamed to be radical in my faith. One who loves God and others to such a degree that people will be pointed to God when they see me, for I would reflect Him alone.
All these stories of Jesus Freaks involve being different. Many are martyred for their faiths. Many are tortured and whatever else, but through it all they continue to focus on God and love their enemies.
Oh, Lord, how I wish that you would work in me, that I might be able to glorify you in that way. Please make me a sacrifice to you, that others might see past me and praise you, My Father in Heaven. You know my heart. I long to be done away with tedium in life, and I want to live radically for you. You know my heart and how I long to be way from this earthly tent and to be with you. But, Lord, more thn that, I pray that I would please you.
Lord, I don't want my life to be wasted, with me having a focus on temporary things. Help me to keep my eyes fixed on heaven and on your eternal things.
Lord, as that one song goes, "I don't wanna be a casual christian. I don't wanna live a lukewarm life." I don't want my worship and my spiritual life to consist of just singing little clappy worship songs, but I want my whole life to be an act of worship unto you.
So, Lord, I pray that you would grant me discernment that i might be able to figure out what is really important to you, what is important for me to do as your servant.
Lord, thank you for your faithfulness to me. Please make me faithful always to you.
As the psalmist says, May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you.
In Jesus Name I pray,
AMEN
I mean, I never really thought about it back then. It didn't seem so very important.
So, fast forward many years. I still have absolutely no idea what I wan to do.
To be quite honest, I know what I don't wanna be: I would hate to get old and become normal. I would hate to really change who I am and fit into the machine of society. I would rather die a horrible death at a young age than grow old and normal.
Who am I? Who do I see myself as? Well, to be quite honest, I see myself as a freak, a social outcast. One who just doesn't fit in well with others.
It's who I have always been, and its who I am. I just don't fit into the system, nor do I particularly want to. I would just like to do what I can, not fitting into normal society but rather sticking out as different.
It's just who I am to be reactionary in my actions and personality.
So, hmm, what can I say? i guess i actually do have an answer for the question above...
I would like to be, above all else, a Jesus Freak. A person who has such love and committment to Jesus that they cannot help but stick out in their society. One who is a disciple of Jesus to such a level that ppl are forced to react. One not ashamed to be radical in my faith. One who loves God and others to such a degree that people will be pointed to God when they see me, for I would reflect Him alone.
All these stories of Jesus Freaks involve being different. Many are martyred for their faiths. Many are tortured and whatever else, but through it all they continue to focus on God and love their enemies.
Oh, Lord, how I wish that you would work in me, that I might be able to glorify you in that way. Please make me a sacrifice to you, that others might see past me and praise you, My Father in Heaven. You know my heart. I long to be done away with tedium in life, and I want to live radically for you. You know my heart and how I long to be way from this earthly tent and to be with you. But, Lord, more thn that, I pray that I would please you.
Lord, I don't want my life to be wasted, with me having a focus on temporary things. Help me to keep my eyes fixed on heaven and on your eternal things.
Lord, as that one song goes, "I don't wanna be a casual christian. I don't wanna live a lukewarm life." I don't want my worship and my spiritual life to consist of just singing little clappy worship songs, but I want my whole life to be an act of worship unto you.
So, Lord, I pray that you would grant me discernment that i might be able to figure out what is really important to you, what is important for me to do as your servant.
Lord, thank you for your faithfulness to me. Please make me faithful always to you.
As the psalmist says, May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to you.
In Jesus Name I pray,
AMEN
posted by thebrainkid at 5/19/2005 03:35:00 AM
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