a factor...

I was looking through my large collection of books, my library, and I came across some books tht I had read a while back and had really enjoyed: the JesusFreaks books by dcTalk and Voice of the Martyrs. The books are collections of stories of martyrs from all time periods, whether centuries ago or maybe even a few years ago. One reads about how these ppl stood firmly in their faith, choosing not to conform to the societies in which they lived because of their faith and relationship to Christ, and who stood as lights in the darkness and cities on a hill. They refused to deny Christ, even in the face of persecution, torture, and death.

And I was thinking about that, and I realized that the entire JesusFreak concept has been a major factor in the development of how I think and who I am.

------------

[What will people think
When they hear that I'm a Jesus Freak?
What will people do
When they find that's it's true?]

Separated, I cut myself clean
From a past that comes back in my darkest of dreams
Been apprehended by a spiritual force
And a grace that replaced all the me I've divorced

...

(chorus)
What will people think
When they hear that I'm a Jesus freak
What will people do when they find that it's true
I don't really care if they label me a Jesus freak
There ain't no disguising the truth

Kamikaze, my death is gain
I've been marked by my Maker
A peculiar display
The high and lofty, they see me as weak
Cause I won't live and die for the power they seek

There was a man from the desert with naps in his head
The sand that he walked was also his bed
The words that he spoke made the people assume
There wasn't too much left in the upper room
With skins on his back and hair on his face
They thought he was strange by the locusts he ate
The Pharisees tripped when they heard him speak
Until the king took the head of this Jesus freak

(repeat chorus 2x)

People say I'm strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger
People say I'm strange, does it make me a stranger
That my best friend was born in a manger

(repeat chorus 2x)

What will people think
[What will people think]
What will people do
[What will people do]
I don't really care
[What else can I say]
There ain't no disguising the truth
[Jesus is the way]

---------------

This is one of the biggest influences I have had growing up, the idea of being non-conformist in one's society in order to glorify God.

And this idea is one that looms in the back of my head, or even in the front of it, as I go about, trying to figure out what I am supposed to do with my life. This is one reason, perhaps, that I have an interesting obsession with open-air preaching.

Also, since one major factor in all of these martyr stories is the idea of not looking to earthly things for pleasure, but instead turning to God and to non-transient things, this is a factor that has developed in my head and which affects the way I look at a lot of things.

I was once gonna write a long post about how I would love to be a JesusFreak, seen as totally strange in the society I lived in because of my faith, focused first and foremost on God and on things eternal, and not bothered by earthly, temporary things. In the end, I decided that the post wasn't very good, and I couldn't word it to accurately express what I wanted to say.

Anyway, for those of you who read this, I hope you find this realization as interesting as I did. Perhaps it will help both you and I figure out exactly who I am and why I am that way.