Small groups again....
Well, we had small group leaders' meeting tonite again, and, to be real, I found myself depressed for a lot of the discussion we had.
I realize, I don't know if I believe in the Christian's "joy" in the same way as we described it. I mean, I just have a hard time thinking of joy as .... i dunno.
For me, as I look at Paul talking about contentedness and joy, I really want to just think of it as I find myself right now:
I find that life really sucks. I mean, sure, God has given me lots of enjoyable stuff in this life; I would be a liar if I denied this. However, I can't really get myself to be happy about these things. I do recognize that they make me happy for a short while, but again and again, I get sad and depressed again. But, despite this, I am "content" in the sense that I don't really expect much better or anything; I recognize that life will continue to be difficult and tiresome, no matter what I do. So, I find my "joy," my only lasting happiness, in the fact that, one day, this will all be over; I will be in heaven, with God, with no pain, no suffering, just happiness and being with God forever and ever, and getting to know him in a way I can't right now while I still live. But, until then, I will work, I will strive, in order that i may serve God and please Him as I seek to be a blessing to others. Not that I am earning my salvation, but rather that I am working out my salvation "with fear and trembling," and trying to be loyal to Him, to be pleasing to Him.
I have a really hard time trying to understand why I should be thankful to God sometimes. I mean, yeah, He gives me all these great things in life, but they don't bring fulfillment or satisfaction that lasts. They come, then go, and they leave me frustrated. And, concerning Him providing me with health and food and whatever, .. well, like I have said many times, the one thing I look forward to most is my pasing away from this life and this world and living in the next. So, it seems like God is only keeping me from something better, although it must be recognized that these things make my time here a little more bearable.
I dunno. I don't want to sond like a whiny complainer, but.. ehh.
God, please be glorified in me. If it is at all possible, please help me to be happy too, but, as always, may your will be done in me. Please continue to sustain me as I try my best to serve you, but I also pray that you would take me to be with you soon. Again, be glorified and pleased in me. In Jesus' name, AMEN
I realize, I don't know if I believe in the Christian's "joy" in the same way as we described it. I mean, I just have a hard time thinking of joy as .... i dunno.
For me, as I look at Paul talking about contentedness and joy, I really want to just think of it as I find myself right now:
I find that life really sucks. I mean, sure, God has given me lots of enjoyable stuff in this life; I would be a liar if I denied this. However, I can't really get myself to be happy about these things. I do recognize that they make me happy for a short while, but again and again, I get sad and depressed again. But, despite this, I am "content" in the sense that I don't really expect much better or anything; I recognize that life will continue to be difficult and tiresome, no matter what I do. So, I find my "joy," my only lasting happiness, in the fact that, one day, this will all be over; I will be in heaven, with God, with no pain, no suffering, just happiness and being with God forever and ever, and getting to know him in a way I can't right now while I still live. But, until then, I will work, I will strive, in order that i may serve God and please Him as I seek to be a blessing to others. Not that I am earning my salvation, but rather that I am working out my salvation "with fear and trembling," and trying to be loyal to Him, to be pleasing to Him.
I have a really hard time trying to understand why I should be thankful to God sometimes. I mean, yeah, He gives me all these great things in life, but they don't bring fulfillment or satisfaction that lasts. They come, then go, and they leave me frustrated. And, concerning Him providing me with health and food and whatever, .. well, like I have said many times, the one thing I look forward to most is my pasing away from this life and this world and living in the next. So, it seems like God is only keeping me from something better, although it must be recognized that these things make my time here a little more bearable.
I dunno. I don't want to sond like a whiny complainer, but.. ehh.
God, please be glorified in me. If it is at all possible, please help me to be happy too, but, as always, may your will be done in me. Please continue to sustain me as I try my best to serve you, but I also pray that you would take me to be with you soon. Again, be glorified and pleased in me. In Jesus' name, AMEN
posted by thebrainkid at 7/28/2005 12:26:00 AM
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