Thoughts about Orthodoxy and Evangelicalism

Today has been a good day. Glory be to God.

I went to my greek class, and we learned about the letters, diacritical marks, and pronunciation. Pretty basic stuff, but still an interesting class.

After that, I was at the AACF table hanging out with Kat and Jensine. Nobody really came by, but it was nice to hang out with my friends.

After that, I spent some time in the GTU bookstore and library, looking up books of the writings of the church fathers, esp. Irenaeus, Tertullian, and Cyprian, since it seems that these are the major authors who wrote about the church as a unified, institutional body. Some comments on this idea later.

Next, I went to my Psychology of Visuaol Perception class, which was interesting. Palmer is a good lecturer.

Then I came home and took a nap for a few hours.

And now, here I am, on my computer.

Thank God for rest. May he also grant me and other students good and joyful times when school gets a little busier later.

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Yesterday was nice. We had our first OCF meeting for this year. We didn't have a Divine Liturgy, since the priest had already performed one, since it was an important day (the beheading of John the Baptist/Baptizer). Lots of new people came, including one fellow who is looking into Orthodoxy who is coming from a Protestant background. Also, the food was excellent, as always. (New Orleans style food... mmm!)

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Recently, my studies of church doctrine and history have been focused on ecclesiology and the Apostolic succession of Episcopacy (that is, Bishops). Thus, I have been looking through the writings of the Pre-Nicene fathers tryign to find info on their doctrine of the church. I want to understand what the Church is, which Christ founded (Matt. 16:18). I want to understand what Paul meant when he talked about the body of Christ in I Corinthians 12.

Lord, help me, and have mercy on me a sinner.

Right now, I think that is the biggest, and perhaps the only, point of disagreement which I have with Orthodoxy: I am not entirely convinced that the Church which Christ founded is necessarily an institutional one. I am not entirely convinced that true apostolic succession is necessarily succession of Bishops and not merely holding the same doctrines as the apostles.

It seems that much of what Orthodox do is due to the culture in which it developed. This is not something against them: I could very well say the same thing about Evangelical Protestantism. I'm just wondering if the doctrine and praxis emerging from one culture are necessarily "more Christian" that that emerging from another.

Does Orthodoxy help one develop a greater love for God than Evangelicalism? Does Orthodoxy help or enable one to live the Christian life in a fuller way than Evangelicalism does?

And, if so, can the qualities of Orthodoxy which facilitate that love and that Christian life be brought into Evangelicalism? And what qualities are those? Are they in the praxis of the church: Smells, bells, Byzantine liturgy, making the sign of the cross, the cult of the Mary and the saints, or what else? Or might they be doctrinal: hesychasm, a deep understanding of cappadocian Trinitarianism, the recognition of the importance of the Church fathers in determining correct doctrine, etc.

Or can evangelicalism be brought into Orthodoxy? Evangelical practice: whether old hymnals, or CCM; protestant style preaching; etc? Ooh, how about big tent revivals? How about the Evangelical focus on the "personal relationship with Jesus Christ"?

Also, see here, and here.

With all of this, I don't know. Lord have mercy onme a sinner.

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If Orthodoxy is true, and Protestantism is heterodox, then would I want a non-Christian to be Protestant or to remain non-Christian? To understand this question, I have to also ask: from a Protestant point of view, would I prefer a non-Christian to be a member of some "Christian" heretical group, like a Mormon or a Jehovah's Witness, or would I prefer them to be non-Christian?

What do you think? Leave comments.

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Oh, and I think Protestants need to be exposed to some of the hymnography, prayers, and writings of Orthodoxy (such as Ephrem the Syrian, St. Nikolai Velimirovich, and Alexander Elchaninov(Diary of a Russian Priest)). At the same time, I would like Orthodox people to experience some of Protestant worship and culture (some Protestant "Baptisty" hymns, some Christian musicians (such as Keith Green; especially "Asleep in the Light" (here and here)), and some Christian authors and preachers (big names like John Piper, or less known people such as Greg Mazak (who is currently on my playlist; hear his series on the book of James).)

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May Christ our true God (through the intercessions of His most pure Mother, and of all the Saints) have mercy on us and save us, forasmuch as He is good and loves mankind.

Amen.

A metaphor : Spiritual Fitness

Here is a metaphor for understanding spiritual state and spiritual growth:

Death is Junk food, inactivity, etc.
Sin is Fat - beer-belly, unhealthy, ugly fat.
Holiness/Godliness is Muscle.
Trials/Tribulation is Exercise

God made man to be spiritually healthy, to have spiritual muscle. But man rejected what God had for him, and thus accepted that which unhealthy, Death. By choosing a lifestyle of Death. man became sinful, and spiritually fat.

Christ came into the world. In his life, he lived a completely spiritually healthy life, building spiritual muscle through endurance through Trials, tribulation. His life acts as an example for the rest of us. In his death, he entered death and overcame it. And in his resurrection, he frees up the Fat ones to become healthy and muscular again.

So, how do fat people get healthy and strong again?
- by recognizing that they are fat and acknowledging that this is bad. (repentance, metanoia)
- by accepting Christ
- as the perfect example of spiritual healthiness (in his life)
- as the one who overcame Fat and unhealthiness (in his death)
- as the one who enables us to become spiritually healthy (in his resurrection)
- by following Christ's 'diet and training regiment' - his commands

One is heavy when one is both fat or when one is very muscular. For example, think of obese people and of football players - both are heavy.

Some people are heavy with Fat:
"Alas, sinful nation, people weighed down with iniquity,..." (Isaiah 1:4)

Some people are heavy with muscle:
"For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison,"(2 Cor 4:17)

Christ calls us to leave a urden of sin/fat and to take on a burden of muscle:
"Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

How can it be that two people weigh, say, 300 pounds and yet one finds it easy and one finds it hard?
-> One has the weight in fat and lacks muscle and is thus weak, while the other has the weight in muscle and thus easily bears his weight.
-> In addition, the fat one can do very little due to his weight, while the strong one can do much despite his weight and at the same time because of his weight.

We develop muscle by exercising. -> we develop godliness by enduring trials.
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4
"And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;" (Romans 5:3-4)

=> <<<<< "NO PAIN, NO GAIN." >>>>>

* Thought up while listening to a sermon by Dr. Greg Mazak on James 1:1-4.
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I am both spiritually AND physically fat.

Lord have mercy.

I'm Done!

Well, today (Saturday) was my last scheduled day of working with CMI for the sumer, so I guess now I am done!
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A Prayer request:
So, on Saturdays, CMI goes out into various poor neighborhoods and holds mini sidewalk sunday schools. Today, I found out that one of the girls who comes out to our sunday school events, named Zaire, lost her father earlier in the week. Her father had been shot and killed on last Thursday. I don't know much more than that. I found out about this when I was playing with the little kids while we were setting up for the sunday school. A little girl, maybe 5 or 6, was with me playing on the slides on a nearby playground, and she informed me of what had happened.

Please pray for Zaire and her sister Shajanae and the rest of their family as tehy go through this time of mourning. And also pray for their continued well-being and for God's watch and care over them.

Pray also for the poor neighborhoods and those individuals who make up the neighborhoods, that God would work in them and save them.

Indie does Gospel

A few indie musicians sining gospel songs

Mid-night Confessions

Well, its 4:30 in the morning. I woke up an hour ago, and I can't get back to sleep. Lots of thoughts rolling around in my head:
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Prayer of St. Basil the Great to the Most Holy Trinity

As I rise from sleep, I thank Thee, O Holy Trinity, for through Thy great goodness and patience Thou wast not angered with me, an idler and sinner, nor hast Thou destroyed me with mine iniquities, but hast shown Thy usual love for mankind; and when I was prostrate in despair, Thou hast raised me up to keep the morning watch and glorify Thy power. And now enlighten my mind's eye, and open my mouth that I may meditate on Thy words, and understand Thy commandments, and do Thy will, and hymn Thee in heartfelt confession, and sing praises to Thine all-holy name: of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
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I really should be getting back to sleep soon. In the morning, I begin my final week of volunteering at CMI, and I know its gonna be a hard week. All the other summer volunteers have left, so its just me and the full-time employees and volunteers during the next week.
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Recently, a number of people have stumbled onto my site. Many are telling me about their own struggle to come to the Orthodox faith. Many have been telling me about the difficulty of having your head catch up to your heart.

I don't quite know where I am. I mean, on one level, it seems that I see something true in Orthodoxy, something greater than what I have now in being an Evangelical Protestant, but my mind still has some trouble accepting some things, such as the hierarchy of church goernment, which the Fundamentalist part of me seems to violently react to, saying "It's so Catholic!" (See below.) Also, some other things too, like icons and Mary.

On the other hand, I am having a hard time finding joy in this at all. My head seems to acknowledge that what I see in Orthodoxy is true. I mean, it just makes sense historically. But, at the same time, my looking into Orthodoxy has been painful. I have a hard time seeing this as a good journey, but rather one which I would rather not take, except for the fact that I have to. To extend this entire 'travelling,' 'journey' metaphor, I would be a person who fell off a cliff and broke a number of limbs, who's trying to climb up and find a safe place. Every step hurts. And I don't feel like I could ever look back on this and say, "Oh, those were the days."
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On that note, I should say that perhaps I wasn't exactly too clear when I said in an earlier post, "As I further consider it, I really want Orthodoxy to be true. I suppose that I could also say that I would really like to become Orthodox."

What I would really like is for something, anything, to be true. But not just true, but also good. If I could find Protestant Evangelicalism, Catholicism, or even Charismaticism to be true and to give joy, I would like to be that.
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As I have been looking at theology, doctrine, dogma, and praxis outside of the Protestant Evangelical mainstream, I have found something interesting. Protestants, including others and myslef, will have a negative reaction to anything that even looks like it could somehow be maybe connected to Catholicism. And, not just a negative reaction, but often a violent negative reaction. It works very much like the 'reductio at Hitlerum', so I shall label this the 'reductio ad catholicism'

This logical reasoning takes the form, "Catholicism/Catholics support/believe/do (something like) X; therefore X must be evil"

Note, for example, the belief that the elements of the Eucharist are in some way really Christ's body and blood; veneration of the Virgin mary; liturgical worship; veneration of saints and icons; fasting; Episcopal church auhority; paying attention to history and tradition; etc.

Now, it may very well be the case that some of these are wrong. But, nevertheless, this is not a valid argument for their being wrong.
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In one week, two very important people leave. One is a former best friend, whom I will again refer to as 'Person A'. The other is my current parish priest Fr. Kevin Scherer, who is moving to Washington to become the new director of OCF (in addition to his already being director of OYO).

One of them, I have known a number of years. The other I have known for only a few months.
One was directly involved in jumpstarting this process of looking into Orthodoxy; the other in guiding me though Orthodoxy.
I haven't spoken to the one very much for almost a year; the other, I have been meeting up with weekly for a number of months.
One of them, I can't talk to: it hurts too much; the other, I will try to keep in contact with.

Both are in my prayers often.
Both love Christ very much.
Both go on to greater things.
Both will be greatly missed.
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As I think about all the things going on in my life, it hurts. If I think too long about Orthodoxy, I find myself wearied. If I think about where I will work when I graduate, I just get depressed and confused. If I think about how to relate to others, especially those of the opposite sex, depression pulls me down and I become hopeless.

In general, the future doesn't scare me or make me depressed. I would just rather that the future not exist. Which is not to say that I would like to stay where I am now, or to revert back to where I have been; often, I just wish that those didn't exist either.
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Lyrics for 'Crazy' - Gnarls Barkley

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase.
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space

And when you're out there
Without care,
Yeah, I was out of touch
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough
I just knew too much

Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Does that make me crazy
Probably

And I hope that you are having the time of your life
But think twice, that's my only advice
Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,
Ha ha ha bless your soul
You really think you're in control

Well, I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
I think you're crazy
Just like me

My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb
And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them
Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun
And it's no coincidence I've come
And I can die when I'm done

Maybe I'm crazy
Maybe you're crazy
Maybe we're crazy
Probably

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Lyrics for 'Know You Better' - Reality Check

simply understanding
you see me when no
one's around
frustration shows my ptience
it seems I'll never get
this right


to get to know you better
to love you more than myself
to give you everything
all of me, all of me

I am human
I borrown this excuse for
my pride
inconsistent independent
it seems I'll never make
this right

waiting for a sign to fall
into my lap from the sky
pockets full of time
it seems I've waited
here forever

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Lyrics for 'Hands in the Air' - The Waiting

If I raise my hands just to lift the shade
Will I reveal a sky heavy and gray?
Will last night be a memory sweetly fading?
How I hate a morning starting out that way.
On these lonely, raging mornings I would whip You if I could
but You're on the mighty side of strong
and the perfect side of good.

If I raise my hands will You grab me by the wrists
And will You try to pull me from the fray?
And even if my fingers join together into fists
Will You hold me firmly anyway?
Because I would try to escape You but for everyday I'm sure
That You're on the huge side of big
And the holy side of pure

Okay
Hear what I say
As I raise my hands in surrender today.
Okay.
Here I will stay
Hands in the air, singing have Thine own way.

If I raise my hands so weak and thin and frail
Will You reveal the light of mercy in Your eyes?
If I cry to You faintly will my feeble whisper fail
Or will it find it's way to a reply?
Because, now that I'm exhausted I think I'm ready to admit
That I have spent all my resistance on someone I can't resist.

Light from my window sill, make my way to the door
I hang my head and still, I know You're wanting more.
Over the threshold now, I move across the yard
All that my will allows, my every step is hard.
Now in the garden I carve out six feet of space.
There make my will comply, lie down upon my face.
Been toe to toe too long, I'm tired of fighting You.
I see You were too strong 'cause I am black and blue.
But now I understand a loser's due to win
How every dying man is sure to rise again.
So I raise my left hand one, I raise my right hand two
Under the morning sun, my spirit cries out to You

Okay.
Hear what I say
As I raise my hands in surrender todday
Right here
Under the sun
Hands in the air, saying Thy will be done
I'm here under the sun
Hands in the air, singing Thy will be done
Okay
Here I will stay
Hands in the air, singing have Thine own way
Have Thine own way.
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Now its 5:40 AM.

Important People

Ok, I was reading through my daily list of websites. and Lo and behold, I find that Mr. Clifton Healy had linked me! For those of you who don't read his blog, I highly recommend it. Much of what he writes has had a great impact on me as I explore Orthodoxy. Also, his site of quotes from the church fathers is an excellent resource. Go check him out.

Next, I start looking at the comments I have received here on Confessions and Cogitations. And, to make my day even better, I find a comment by none other than Mr. Steve Robinson. Now, he is definitely someone you need to read and listen to. His radio show, Our Life In Christ, is one of the best resources for Protestants and even non-Christians who are looking into Orthodoxy. Also, beyond the radio show, he has a great blog, with very insightful posts. And he has an amazing ability to write in such a way as to touch one's heart. (See, for instance, his posts on Vacation Bible School (here, here, and here, with picture here; I especially like the second story, the 'candy' one!) and also these three posts, which you can hear him read here.)

SO, yeah, go check these people out. I really look up to them, and God is using them in the lives of many people in ways that they'll never know about.

God bless you guys.

Rust cleaning technique

I think I will try this to clean off rust from cast iron skillets.